Crying in Antigua. Yep. That’s right. Tonight I cried. Lagrimas son el lenguaje del corazón! “tears are the language of the heart!” At La Merced today, we had Adoration for the whole day. It provided me with a lot of time for reflection and prayer on and off during my free time and my Holy Hour before Mass. Truthfully, I was a bit homesick today. I had been having problems with the bank the school recommends and them not accepting my debit card to withdraw funds over the past few days. Finally, after talking with my teacher and a lady at the bank, I was directed to an ATM that looked and is supposed to be safe, that worked! Praise God!
I had to celebrate by engaging in a little “ganga” or barter with the merchants on the street. Gonzalo, one of the shopkeepers who remembered my name practiced Spanish with me for a little bit, with irregular verbs. “Con-yel-in” (no clue how to actually spell her name) told me that I would be her favorite customer if I came back and bought a table runner, wrap, or scarf from her tomorrow. She said she’d wait for me. Well…After the hard bargain and walking away I had to do with her friend, she might be waiting a bit longer for me to buy something else from them. Haha. At least I know the two locations they set up shop.
Class today was long. But it was very very good! My teacher, Matilde is super sweet, very devout, and very good. She has me doing a wide range of things in the classroom and after 10 hours, I’ve already felt more comfortable and have been able to practice speaking with others with more frequency. I’m excited to see what else I’ll learn in the coming weeks!
Tonight at dinner, the sister of my Madre de La Casa came over, so it was just her, Janet’s daughter and myself enjoying the delicious chicken and pasta, Janet had cooked for us before she left. BTDUBS…Janet is an AWESOME cook. Like people ask me in shops and church where I live and they all comment on her cooking abilities! Milna, Janet’s sister shared with me about the struggles of her fathers death last year and caring for her mother with dementia. For 40 minutes, I was able to sit, to listen, to respond (in spanish) and to pray with her. Never, Never, in my life did I think that I’d be able to do any sort of pastoral care or ministry while here in Antigua. And yet, the Lord took my little bit of home-sickness and worry, made it better and then challenged me to grow in my spanish as I was present to and spoke with Milna. And so for 40 minutes, we went back and forth taking turns crying. Milna, for the loss of her father and pain of her mothers condition and me as my heart broke for the pain Milna was going through. We talked of how we come into this world as children and the Lord in his love takes us out like children, Christ said: “Let the children come unto me!” And it is very very hard to experience our loved ones when they age, but there is a beauty and a joy with hit as well.
Friends, it’s moments like these where I feel the call of priesthood well up inside and become so much stronger. To be able to be the hands and feet of Christ, to share in the wounds of others and to help them see his light is such a gift. It’s been my prayer thus far this summer that I learn Spanish. It’s been the Lord’s will thus far that my heart becomes
more like his. Conversion happens all of the time. And for me, it happened tonight while speaking and listening in Spanish in one of the smallest towns in Guatemala, a beautiful town situated between volcanoes in a valley with people who have such an outstanding sense of faith and devotion.
Join me in praying for Milna, for her mother, for the repose of the soul of her father, and that my heart might become more like HIS Sacred Heart. May the Lord allow us to choose nothing. Nothing, but him and may we have the courage to follow that call. Even if it means conversion, if it means hurt, if it means crying, and sharing in the lives of others.
“We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.” – Paulo Coelho The Alchemist
Coelho’s The Alchemist has long been a favorite book of mine, ever since my Highschool sophomore English teacher, Mrs. Rachel Gavin recommended it to me. The story covers a young man, (interestingly a former seminarian) on his discernment journey as he seeks to discover to where he is being called in the world. He has many adventures and the book recounts those travels he makes, those little “Parenthesis ( ) in eternity.”
I’ve been absent from my blog for a while now, as I was busy with school things again. Now that it is the summer I thought I’d use the time to post more, especially about my experiences here in La Antigua, Guatemala. Yes, dear Toto that’s right. I’m no longer in Kansas, Indiana, Illinois, or Kentucky anymore. In fact I’m quite a bit south in Central America spending my summer doing a Spanish immersion course at the “Probigua” school here in Antigua. I’ll give more details about the school as time goes on. For now, I’d like to focus on what my first 24 hours has been like, share some photos with you all and then go to bed, because my first day of class starts in the morning.
I arrived at the airport in Guatemala City at 12:08 pm. Somehow (and I don’t remember doing this) I must have turned my watch an hour back at some point. Who knows? I was on the wrong time until 2:13 pm until I asked my House Mom what the time was. LOL
Anywho, it took me almost 13 hours to go from Bowling Green, KY to Antigua. After arriving at the airport, I was met by Reginaldo, my driver sent from the school who took me on a little over an hour drive to Antigua. Curvy roads, crazy traffic, and no uses of turn signals, just honks of the horn led us out of town into the beautiful, and I mean BEAUTIFUL mountains. Then we went down down down, left paved roads and for a brief moment it seemed, civilization behind as the van began to bump, jerk, and pitch on the cobblestone streets of beautiful La Antigua.
As we drove along, I thought to myself: “gee, this place is bigger than I thought.” Bright colors, clay tile roofs, crumbling plaster, statues of saints, churches, ruins of churches, people, smiling people, laughing people, kissing people (apparently the park near my house is where the young teenagers go scuba diving or something. It’s a wonder after the length of their kisses that they don’t need to come up for air sooner. HAHA just kidding.) working people, poor people, people driving Jeeps, people driving Audis, Volvo’s, Volkswagens, Toyotas… the list goes on and on and on.
Once we arrived at my house, we stood out side the gate, me looking up at it, waving hello to the two women making tortillas in the store across the road, and my driver climbing in the van and beginning to pull away. “Wait!,” I exclaimed as he stopped inching forward. “Is someone coming to the gate?” I asked. “Sí, he’s coming.” “Reginaldo replied and sure enough the gate began to open. But it wasn’t a man. It was my Madre de la casa, my House Mom, Sñra. Flores! “Corey, Bienvenido a Antigua y mi casa!” she said.
And then it got real.
Reginaldo spoke english and didn’t practice spanish with me on the way down. Sñra. Flores only spoke to me in spanish. I only spoke to her in spanish. Did I just communicate for 15 minutes in spanish? I thought to myself as I sat my backpack down on my bed inside my room she had shown me to? Yes. Yes I had. Wow. Never in my life have I done that before.
Sñra. Flores made me a delicious lunch of rice, and chile de renos and pickled cucumbers. After getting a key from her, as well as the Wifi password, I texted my Mom, Vocation directors, priest friends, and others who were wondering about my safe travels to let them know that all was well and I was happy.
But was I really happy? The truth is, when Father Andy and Father Josh gave me a blessing before I got in the car with Preston to drive down to Nashville at 2 in the morning, my stomach was doing flips. Infact, until lunch, my stomach was doing flips. After lunch, they stopped but then they started again. Oh no. Not indigestion, not the cucumbers, what did I eat? Maybe she didn’t actually have purified water for me to drink? What if I get mugged? What if I die here?
Oh shut up Corey. You need Jesus.
You haven’t gone to Mass yet today and you need to pray. So I asked Sñra for directions (in Spanish) and I headed out to find my parish for the summer: La Merced.
La Merced is an absolutely beautiful parish, built in a spanish baroque style. I walked around the church, found the Beautiful Blessed Sacrament Chapel, plopped down and prayed. I asked Our Lady and our Lord to really help me this summer. I asked them to help me be at home. To quench my home-sickness, to help me to grow in faith and love. And to fill that parenthesis, that Paulo Coelho talked of with a summer of abundant blessings. And after praying my rosary, I kept falling asleep so I headed back to my casa for a little siesta.
I was awakened to the sound of Sñra. Flores calling from downstairs: “Corey…. Corey….Corey….Corey….” And I in a half asleep state after recognizing that it wasn’t a dream answered: “I’m coming! Un momentito por favor!” There went my first english words. LOL. I had a lovely dinner (which I had forgotten about in my tired state) with Sñra Flores and her daughter Daniella. We had Guatemalan Tamales, different but just as tasty as the mexican tamales I have grown up with. I had a lovely time speaking in spanish to them, they spoke slowly so I could understand them and we found out more about one another. We canonized my Mom, for having trisos or triplets and I shared photos, laughed, had questions answered: “Que hora es la Misa a La Merced En la Mañana?” What time is the Mass at La Merced in the morning.
I then retired for the evening and fell quickly back asleep. Waking up around 4am to the sound of the local dogs barking, I went back to sleep for a couple hours and then got up and started my day. It was a beautiful morning. 70ish degrees, sun out, etc. I said good morning to the tortilla lady across the street, walked through the park (figured out part of it is where the dogs leave their business so I needed to cross the road) and went to La Merced for my first Mass in Antigua. It was the Feast of Pentecost! I prayed my office prior to Mass, was joined by a couple of kind couples in the pew and understood most of Fathers homily. He’s a very engaging preacher. And after 34 minutes, I’m glad he was so engaging. lol
After Mass, they had Presentations of around 12 babies. Father would pray, throw a bunch of holy water on them, they would cry, he would lift them up above the people (to my eye level lol) and then we would applaud. It was a bit different than in America, but this was the quick version from what I gathered. I prayed mid-morning prayer as it was now 10:24 or so and headed down the street in search of brunch. Father Gary had recommended me to try Luna de Miel. I am so glad I did. They make sweet and savory crepes as well as smoothies. A delicious, cheese, bean, and ham crepe with a watermelon/mint/OJ smoothie and aqua pura a bottle of water while sitting on a balcony overlooking part of the city was perfect. At 11am the bells of the church started to ring and the next Mass began. I loved listening to the bells all day long.
After Brunch, I went walking, exploring, getting my bearings on things. I had already found the school last night, so I wanted to venture out even more. I ended up first finding and taking the necessary picture in front of the Arch of Saint Catherine. Arco de Santa Catalina. Walked into some beautiful shops with kind shopkeepers who visited with me, inquired where I was from, where I went to school in town, how long I was visiting for, where I had been, and offered assistance in directing me to places I wanted to visit. They even promised prayers for me when they found out I was a seminarista. Like Paulo said: In each moment ” we have stopped to encounter each other, to love, and to share.” Part of the Spanish immersion involves sharing. And strangely my extroverted side was working overtime and I was making friends, meeting people, and speaking to them in spanish all within my first 24 hours. Wow!
I visited downtown in the Parque Central, found where I could go to the bank in the morning to obtain some more Guatemalan currency. (Thankfully both places I ate at accepted USD, but thanks to Robin Murphy, now an alumnus of Saint Meinrad, she had sent me with about $20 worth of Quetzales, so I used that for my meals today.
I visited a few more places, then headed back to the casa as it was starting to get rather warm. I purchased some bottled water for brushing my teeth on my way back, got back to my room and took a nice siesta. did some reading. Afterwards, it was time for dinner so I went in search of a new place. I had passed a few cool restaurants on my way earlier in the day, so I headed back to the parquet central to see what I could find. I ended up in a beautiful little Café Condessa or the Café Contessa, named after the beautiful old home belonging to a line of Counts and Countesses it was located in. I kept thinking back to one of my favorite films: “The Count of Monte Cristo” even though they speak french and I was speaking spanish. I was able to FaceTime my Mom there for a bit before the Wifi started to cut out more and then I switched to texting.
After a delicious meal, I headed to see the old Cathedral, pray EP, and work my way up some new streets back toward La Merced, so that I could pray my rosary and make a Holy Half Hour. I wanted to beat the rain. Luckily I did, made it home, and was able to type up this little blogpost about my time thus far.
Hopefully, as the summer goes on, I’ll be able to incorporate
more spanish into my posts (and translations) as well as photos and stories of my time here, the people I encounter, and the place which already I am coming to love very very much. This is truly a precious moment in my formation, in my life, and in my journey to become the man God has created me to be. Pray for me that my time might be fruitful, that I might be generous, and that I might be able to as I prayed this morning on the Feast of Pentecost, to speak in Spanish. The Apostles could be heard in many different languages, I for now, only ask to be heard and be able to use one.
Good night, Buen Noche desde Antigua! I’m praying for you. I hope you’ll say a prayer for me!
Top left: Shrine to Christ in the Sepulcher in the old Cathedral
Top Right: Mass times in the old cathedral: Quote: “There exists no sin, that God cannot forgive! None!” – Pope Francis
Lower left: Church ruins near my house
Lower right: the little inner courtyard going to my house and others.
“Even now, says the LORD, return to me with your whole heart, with fasting, and weeping, and mourning; Rend your hearts, not your garments, and return to the LORD, your God. For gracious and merciful is he, slow to anger, rich in kindness,
and relenting in punishment. Perhaps he will again relent and leave behind him a blessing” – Joel 2:12-18
Gracious, Merciful, Kind, and Forgiving are not normally adjectives we would use to describe Ash Wednesday, let alone the Lenten Season. Yet that is exactly how God is described in the First Reading from Joel this morning and I daresay that we can use those same words to describe this Ash Wednesday and this Season of Lenten journey we are embarking on.
Ash Wednesday, like Good Friday is a day of what Canon 1251 stipulates as being a day of fasting and abstinence. With Ash Wednesday falling on Valentine’s Day this year it can be upsetting for some to not be able to celebrate the day of “love” with the love of their life. Yet, this year we have an opportunity to celebrate this day of love with an ultimate act of love toward the one we should love above all else.
Fasting and abstinence help us to deny our carnal passions and desires and take control with our will over what our bodies seek. The hunger in our bellies, growling away all day helps us to realize that we hunger for something, for someone greater than what food can satisfy. Abstaining from meat gives us the opportunity to offer a small sacrifice, to give a small gift to the one we love as a testament of that love.
“Rend your hearts” Joel instructs us. When was the last time that you were heartbroken during Lent? When was the last time that your heart was rent, was broken for love of the one you truly love? How are we to “return to the Lord our God?” by realizing that thirst in our Heart, in our Souls for the living God.
This Lent, this Ash Wednesday, may we turn back to God. May we turn ourselves completely toward the Lord, allowing the growl of our bellies to speak of the thirst and hunger of our souls for Him who can satisfy every longing under Heaven. May our sacrifices, our weeping, our mourning be small gifts to the King of Kings; jewels to be added in our crowns at the day of resurrection.
Let’s make this Lent one of kindness to our neighbor, mercy on ourselves, slow to anger, rich in compassion, an one of forgiveness. For our God is a gracious God and he will surely leave us a blessing for the good we do this Lent.
Celebrate Ash Wednesday and St. Valentine’s Day with the one we truly love above all else this year. May our hearts be broken, rent with love of him, who had his own heart broken, pierced with a lance on a cross because of our sins.
Let’s learn to Love this Lent.
And let’s pray for one another as we continue to walk this beautiful Lenten Journey together!
I saw this beautiful hymn tonight before I prayed Night Prayer. It’s a lovely text asking God to be with us as night comes, recognizing that we want to remain near him in sleep, in dreams, and our first thoughts when we awake so that all we do tomorrow might be for his glory.
The third verse is stunning. No one else but God can save us and fill our hearts. And if we seek him. We will never be alone.
May we always strive to seek him. To know him. To find him so that we might love him.
Now, God Be With Us
Now, God be with us, for the night is closing;
The light and darkness are of your disposing;
And ‘neath your shadow here to rest we yield us,
For you will shield us.
Let holy thoughts be ours when sleep o’ertakes us;
Our earliest thought be yours when morning wakes us;
All day serve you, in all that we are doing
Your praise pursuing.
We have no refuge, none on earth to aid us,
Save you, O Father, who in love has made us;
But your dear presence will not leave them lonely
Who seek you only.
Tune: Lobet den Herren 220.127.116.11
Music: Johann Crüger, 1598-1662
Text: Bohemian Brethren’s Kirchengesange,1566
Translation: Catherine Winkworth, 1827-1878
Please join me in praying for the repose of the soul of dear 93 year old Ed Pickett of Owensboro. Certain people tend to truly touch our lives and I’d like to share the story of a couple of my encounters with Ed, a man of much faith with you…
I met Ed on a communion call last year while at St. Stephen Cathedral on Pastoral Year. Ed lived in a beautiful brick home and had a large American Flag flying outside of is front door.
During my first visit with Ed, I learned about the love of his life, Grace, his wife who had died around 5 years prior. Every visit there after, Ed would always mention Grace as we prayed and chatted. He was a man who was smitten with a love that lasted even past death. Since Ed was in the Military, Grace had raised their large family largely while he was serving. Ed, would speak to me with tears in his eyes of how beautiful she was and how grateful he was for her doing so well with their children.
Ed was a man also of faith. Often, when I would visit with him on one of his many trips to the hospital he would have the Hail Mary or Our Father on his lips, praying for a variety of things. He was a kind, old, grandfather figure who was incredibly sweet. From laughing with him as he shared stories of the nun who made him wear a dress because he had ripped his pants when he attended an all-girls Catholic school in New York (yes, you read that right) to tearing up as I watched this man of faith, this kind gentle man struggle with the pains of growing old, I treasure those visits I had with Ed.
Even when he was in braces with broken bones, dealing with sickness, etc. whenever I would ask Ed how he was, he would say something along the lines of: “Well, I have a lot of pain in my back and I really can’t walk around too well, but other than that, I’M DOING GREAT! How are you young man?”
As we would pray, Ed would usually hold my hand as I sat next to him and squeeze it whenever we would pray for Grace. Then, after receiving communion, making an act of thanksgiving, Ed would smile, grab my hand and kiss it and say: “Thank you for coming to see me and bringing me Jesus. I love you.”
I can truly say that even though I only knew Ed through my short visits with him, I loved him back. I was and am thankful for the small times I got to spend with and be inspired with this man of faith, this man of his country, this man of his family, this man of love. And while he was thankful for me bringing Jesus to me, I am thankful for him showing and being Jesus to me.
May choirs of angels come to greet you Ed as they lead you into paradise. May the martyrs receive you at your arrival and lead you to the holy city Jerusalem. May choirs of angels receive you and with Lazarus, once a poor man, may you truly have eternal rest.
St. Francis of Assisi has been my patron saint for as long as I can remember. I have always had a devotion to him, the simple, humble aristocrat-turned beggar of Assisi. His radical ways of living have always touched deeply at my heart, as they have at so many others across the ages. Francis, was ordained as a Deacon. Never a priest. And he LIVED his Diaconate in every sense of the work Diakonos…service. Francis lived a life of radical hospitality. He welcomed all, stranger, muslim, Christian, woman, child, etc as Christ. Ever since his encounter with the poor beggar man, wherein Francis gave him his cloak, Francis lived a life for others. He lived his life as an alter Christus (another Christ).
Francis had a great love for the Church, he had a great love for the people of God, a great love for the Liturgy in all its splendor, and he had a great love for beauty. Francis lived the radical hospitality, which the Gospel demands with such fervor that he saw God’s presence in the beauty of each part of Creation. Whether it be Sister Moon, Brother Wolf, Sister Breeze, Brother Leo, Sister Clare, or even Sister Death…from whom no mortal can escape. Francis saw the presence of God, the incarnation of Christ in every living being. He lived the mystery of the Incarnation, because he honored Christ’s presence, wherever and whenever he found it.
Francis was joyful. There’s no doubting that. Read any commentary you ever could on him, watch Bishop Robert Barron’s The Pivotal Players episode on him (I HIGHLY RECOMMEND DOING SO) and you will see a man, faced with trials, with sin, with struggles, yet as he walked he sang. As he received he gave. As he lived, so he loved.
Francis abandoned the pleasures of the flesh, the pleasures of the world, because he had seen that only Christ, could provide what he needed. He had fallen deeply and madly in love with the Bridegroom of the Church, and sought to offer his own life with Christ to the glory of God the Father. Francis embraced his trials. He received the Stigmata. He founded religious communities. He created the first “living” Nativity Scene. He rebuilt physical church buildings. He prayed often. He went away to quiet places for retreats. He stirred up the ardor of faith in men of no faith. He loved without being loved in return. Why? Because he embraced the Radical Hospitality of the Gospel. He embraced a life of joy. He embraced Christ, present in all of humanity and creation, with all of its boils, warts, pimples, scars, etc. because he saw the beauty of the Creator within.
St. Francis of Assisi, lived a life of radical surrender to the workings of the Spirit. He lived a life of radical hospitality and love. He lived a life of joy as he embraced the cross.
May we have the strength and courage to do the same.
St. Francis of Assisi, pray for me and for us, that we might be made worthy to share the light of Christ in Heaven with you. Amen.
“Owe no debt to anyone, except the debt that binds us to love one another. He who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. Love never wrongs the neighbor, hence, love is the fulfillment of the law.” – Romans 13:8, 10
The above reading from Romans comes to us in the Liturgy of the Hours during Mid-day prayer this morning. It is a helpful reminder for us as we continue throughout our day to ask ourselves if we have loved the other as other. Love in its truest form always takes us outside of ourselves to see the other as no longer other, but as someone we have come to know and see Christ in.
A few days ago (Friday, I think.) we heard from the book of Ruth where Naomi has reminded Ruth that she is not bound to stay and care for her. Ruth in turn says to Naomi:
“Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.…” – Ruth 1:16
Ruth shows us that even though she is not bound to Naomi’s family anymore that it is important to welcome the foreigner, the stranger. “You people shall be my people, and your God, my God…”
So, the question remains; How are you?; How am I?; loving today? Am I searching for Christ in those that I meet? In the stranger? In the new seminarian I meet walking down the hall? Am I welcoming? Do I extend some form of hospitality to them?
Now, this is all fine and dandy, but practically, how does it apply to my life? How do I recognize the presence of Christ in another?
“Were not our hears burning [within us] while he spoke to us on the way and opened the scriptures to us?” – Luke 24:32
Luke reminds us in The Emmaus story, of Christ’s presence present in those small moments, but also in those chance encounters. Let us not look past another, because of what they wear, who we think they are, how they sound, but let us listen with the help of the Spirit to the voice deep inside of Christ, burning within our hearts and calling us to love those that we encounter just as much as we love ourselves!
“Our hearts were made for You, O Lord, and they are restless until they rest in You.” – St. Augustine of Hippo
St. Augustine, who’s Feast we celebrate today recognizes that incredible power that comes about from listening and casting ourselves onto and into the Heart of the one who loves much. We were made to love like Christ. We were made to allow our hearts to rest in Him, in the one for whom they burn.
So, I ask us to consider again: How have I loved today? Do I need to start again? Do I need to seek forgiveness? How can I love more like Christ? Christ came to fulfill the law, and the way he did that was through his message of love and mercy. How can I love someone else as passionately, as personally, as whole-heartedly as Christ loves me, as he loves you?
St. John of the Cross reminds us that “at the end of our lives we shall all be judged by Charity.” We shall each be judged by how we loved. How will you love today?
Update: 7/28/17 I learned this morning that Ms. Sharon Speaks passed away around 2am this morning.
Eternal rest grant unto her O Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul and all of the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, Rest In Peace. Amen.
May Mary, our Mother of Mercy wrap the Speaks family under her mantle of love during this time. Amen.
Read the original post below:
Prayer request: A few months ago I was blessed to be able to participate in the Gennessaret Retreat (for the chronically ill)at the Ursuline Sisters of Mount Saint Joseph after the invitation of Tom and Amy Payne. It was an incredible weekend experience and a beautiful chance for me to witness the powerful love of God and his healing touch and care for his people.
While on the weekend, I met Ms. Speaks there as well as her husband and was overjoyed at seeing the love and care they had for each other. Listening to her speak of how moved she was by the retreat and how she had never had the experience of love like she did on the retreat brought tears to my eyes.
Here in front of me was a woman who much like the woman with a hemorrhage in the Scriptures, had faith. She wanted to be healed. She longed to be healed. Yet, until the Retreat she hadn't trusted like she wanted to in Gods love and healing mercy for her. Through the graces of the discussion, prayer, and communal time on the retreat, she was able to reach out and touch the Lord's garment. Now, she wasn't healed bodily of her illness, but she was healed through her will. She shared with us, that through the retreat, she was able to give her "yes" to God in accepting where she was in life and uniting her suffering with his in the cross.
Ms. Speaks spoke volumes to me through her love and trust in the Lord who loves her so very much. Part of the weekend included a time of Anointing and Washing of the Feet of our "guests." I being the photographer I am, snapped this picture of her and her husband as her feet were being washed. It was an incredibly moving and vulnerable moment. And I feel so blessed to have been able to capture some aspect of "love in action."
I found out this evening that she is currently in the process of dying. As I reach out my hand in faith asking the Lord like the woman with a hemorrhage and like Ms. Speaks did, to heal me of my own infirmities, I invite you to join me in praying for her peace. Praying for her family. And praying for her soul, that she too might share in the abundant life of Heaven with Jesus Christ for ever.
May Mary, our Mother help her to continue to give her "Yes" to the Lord that his will might be done and that he the Master who asks: "Who touched me?" Will know and welcome her with great joy into his Heavenly Homeland forever. Amen.
No, not the hit by Ne-Yo, but rather this beautiful quote by St. Anselm…
“Teach me to seek you, and reveal yourself to me as I seek, because I can neither seek you if you do not teach me how, nor find you unless you reveal yourself. Let me seek you in desiring you; let me desire you in seeking you; let me find you in loving you; let me love you in finding you.” – St. Anselm
I experimented for the first time the other evening at Made for More Camp on taking photos with long exposures during our candlelit Adoration in the Pavillion. I have never really taken many photos at night before, so I was a little leery about “stepping out” into the unknown to see what I could do. I was having to think back to Professor Foley’s class and remember some of the techniques he taught us. Aren’t these shots fantastic?!? I was very pleased with how they all turned out.
“Duc in Altum.” “Go into the deep!” we hear Christ Jesus say in Luke 5:4 as he instructs the fishermen to cast their nets deep into the other side so that they might haul in a catch. St. Peter, dumbfounded (as I would be too.) at the amount of fish they were hauling in exclaims: “Depart from me Lord, for I am a sinful man.” But Christ, lovingly responded to him: “Do not be afraid. From now on, you will be Fishers of Men.” (Luke5:10)
How often am I like Simon Barjonah? How often do I doubt that the Lord can work wonderful, and miraculous things through my life? Often, too caught up inside myself to continue on, I exclaim like Peter: “Depart from me Lord, for I am a sinful man.” Yet, Christ always extends his hand and says softly: “Rise up, my beloved son! For I have called you by name and you are mine!”
At our Made for More Camp this past week, I always am and was again greatly inspired by the young men who were present. They, like Peter followed the invitation of our Lord to cast their nets into the deep. During the camp they were challenged and had the opportunity to grow in prayer, brotherhood, laughter, and receive practical information on how to better discern where the Lord was calling them.
On Wednesday, my car broke down when I was coming back into Bowling Green from a trip to Nashville with some other seminarians. Something to do with the passenger rear brake… I think. It’s just what I needed. Something to go wrong with my car. GREAT. I was not happy. I was not humble. I was afraid, mad, and said quite a few words I shouldn’t. Then I prayed. I said a Hail Mary, I asked our Lord to let me make it back to St. Joseph, where I knew I could at least figure things out.
Lo and behold, I became more calm. And I was able to make it back to the parish safely. Brother Victor helped me look at my car the next morning and drove behind me as I went excruciatingly slow, hearing the grinding and banging and bumping of my tire. I prayed the whole way. I had to stop focusing on myself and my strengths and what I can do and trust in the unknown. I like Peter and the young campers had to trust in the Lord that he would get me to where I needed to be, and do so safely.
I’m a perfectionist. I’m OCD. I like to be in control of things in my life. As I have sat here at St. Joseph, with time for prayer, reading, working on projects I needed to finish for the Cathedral, and responding to emails from the week, I have had to let go of what I want and rely completely on what the Lord wants, and what he wills. IT DRIVES ME UP THE WALL. Yet, it’s good practice for me. It’s time spent well, listening, praying, trusting, and relying on Him who is always there for me; whenever my car breaks down, whenever I have a rough day, whenever I’m joyful and singing with happiness. He is always there, asking me to trust, to rely, to have faith.
The Psalm at Mass today comes from Psalm 128: “See how the Lord blesses those who fear him.” Fear him, honor him, and trust in him I have indeed done and have to continue to do, as my car is still in the shop and I have absolutely no idea what is exactly wrong with it, nor whether I will have both arms and legs after I pay for it.
But bless me he has. I have had a roof over my head, food in my stomach, friends to laugh with, and a wonderful God to praise. I have and continue to put out into the deep. I continue to grow and go into the great unknown and trust that all will happen as He will it, because He wills it, when He wills it.