My Vocation Story

The following is my Vocation Story up to this point. Why do I say  up to this point? Because, it is a never ending process. Until the day I die I will always be seeking to discover and discern where/to what God is calling me to next. The following are just specific points along the way

All three of us in the Fall of 2013.

All three of us in the Fall of 2013.

that have stood out to me. Pray for me, that I may discern well, you are all in my prayers daily!

Growing up I was always encouraged to do whatever God wanted me to do. And no matter what my “ideal” job was in my mind my Mom used to always say that I should keep my options open incase God wanted me to be a Priest. Going through my life up until the 5th grade I wanted to be everything from a Construction Worker to a Veterinarian, but the thought of a being a priest was never that high on the list.

A little background before I start: I was born a triplet in the town of Quincy, IL to my parents Larry and Sue. I have one triplet brother, Brody, one triplet sister, Emily, and two older brothers: Adam and Nathan. (Both of whom are married with children now) In Quincy my family and I attended St. Peter’s which is where Servant of God Fr. Augustus Tolton, the first black priest in America was baptized and did some of his first ministry.(Because of our connection, I have a devotion to him.) My grandparents attend St. Francis Solanus in Quincy, which has had a big impact on my vocation, particularly through several of the Franciscans there.

My vocation story  really starts out in the little town of Beatrice, NE. We had moved to

Our family in Nebraska

Our family in Nebraska

Nebraska when I was in the second grade. My Dad had just got a job there and we moved to be with him. We made many friends, particularly ones from church. We attended St. Joseph’s and were blessed with two great priests. The then Fr. Mark Seiker and Fr. Finnian, who was a priest from Africa. Our faith really began to take off in Beatrice, not that we weren’t Catholic in Quincy or such, but too me it seemed to really take off. Mom was involved with the Ladies Sodality at the parish, which was blessing not only for her, but also for our family as it helped deepen our prayer life. My dad was involved with the Men’s group and we three kids went faithfully to CCD, and Mass with my parents. There is something unique thought about our time spent in Beatrice. I distinctly remember going to Holy Hours throughout the week. If memory serves, it seemed like we went each Saturday before Mass, as well as different points throughout the week. I remember Mom taking us there with her to pray, since Mom was a teacher she knew the value of good books and we were blessed to always have good Catholic books to read during adoration. We were particularly fond of books about the saints. They had a statue of the Infant of Prague in an alcove, with a basket of saint books under, that we would always peruse.

I remember even then looking at saints and praying about who I should choose as my confirmation saint down the road. (It was between John Bosco, Nicholas of Myra, and Francis of Assisi (Francis won, though I hold the others as patrons as well)) There was a statue of St. Theresé of Liseuix off to the left of the church in an alcove near the confessional, and for some reason I have always had a devotion to her since then. I remember dealing as a child with nightmares of hell, demons, etc. One time in particular I remember being at my grandparents and hearing a terrible voice saying that it was going to get me and that I was a sinner and that I was doomed to Hell. I ran out to the garage crying where my Grandma was and told her about it. Her words of advice have always stuck with me, she prayed a Hail Mary with me and told me if I ever heard the voice again to pray and ask Mary to defend me with the help of my guardian angel. Back in Beatrice I remember thinking about it and looking over at St. Theresé and seeing the shape of someone kneeling in front of it, facing toward the tabernacle, and they were shining with a white light. I asked Mom who it was and she didn’t see anything. I always took it as either a sign of my guardian angel showing that it too prayed with me and was there with me, or it was the trick on the eyes of a child, whatever it was it certainly deepened my faith.

I remember sitting and praying there in the church during the time, reading about the saints and falling in love with the Eucharist. My siblings and I received our First Holy Communion there by intinction. (sort of a neat fact) It was either at our First Communion, or our First Confession that I remember getting to sing the Alleluia and Alleluia verse prior to Fr. Finnian reading the Gospel. (I never thought that one day I would be leading the community as I intoned it at seminary years later!) The year we spent living in Nebraska was one of much peace, love, and happiness for my siblings and I. Sadly, I know my Mom and Dad struggled more than we did with being so far away from our family in Quincy, but I would have never known it.

Christmas came, and because all of our decorations were boxed up in storage, my Mom had the great idea to do an “old-fashioned” Christmas, decorating our real tree (I have yet to have a fake tree for Christmas!) with popcorn, apples, oranges, etc. I remember learning to ride our bikes in the park down the road without training wheels, the pet cemetery, the nature reserve across from our apartment where we got in trouble for catching grass hoppers for a class project. (If they hopped across to our side of the road we could keep them, go figure!) It was a time of much joy, spiritual growth, relying on Jesus in the Eucharist to console us as we missed our family and where I believe my vocation story really began. Thanks to my Mom, my siblings and I all have a great love, devotion, and sense of reverence to our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament and love to make Holy Hours.

After our year in Beatrice, we said good bye to our friends and apartment as we moved yet again to Marion, Kentucky where Dad had got a different job. I have lived in Marion ever since then, and while not having a Walmart or Kohls is a slight drawback, I wouldn’t change it for anything. It didn’t take long for us to get active in Marion, make friends and we had started attending St. William’s Catholic church down the road. Mom would still have us pray a family rosary, and during Lent/Advent my siblings and I got to choose devotions to do as a family each night.

Life was good and after one year of living there it came time to get a dog. We had a had

Maggie and the triplets

Maggie and the triplets

animals growing up in Quincy and because we had to put our Golden down shortly after we moved to Nebraska, Mom had promised that we would get a dog once we had lived in Kentucky for one year. So in May of 2003, my Grandma came for a visit and all of us went to Fancy Farm, Kentucky to look at Labrador Retrievers. One month later we returned to Fancy Farm and then home, this time with a growing yellow ball of fur who we named Magnolia (Maggie). Maggie was my joy, even though she had her temperamental qualities like nibbling on your back if you weren’t paying her attention, or digging up moles, wounding them, then leaving me to finish killing them. She was my best friend growing up, but I’ll continue on:

Later during the month of June St. William’s received a new pastor; Fr. Richard Cash. My family always went to the Saturday morning Mass at St. William’s and my brother and I had started serving for Fr. Bruce Fogle. Fr. Bruce is such a genuine man who really welcomed my family into the parish and was one of the first to show me that priests can have fun. (My siblings and I would have snowball fights with Father in the parking Lot after we left Mass on Saturdays.)

On the Saturday that I first met Fr. Cash I remember Mom and Dad were gone somewhere for something and an older couple from the parish who we called Grandpa Mike and Grandma Annie picked us up to take us to church. I remember Grandpa Mike pulling up in his white pickup, Brody and I sat in the bed with their dog Jake, Emily rode with them in the cab and we went to church early, so that we could welcome our new pastor.  I remember this “old man” driving up and getting out of the car and walking over to talk with all of us. Little did I know that Father was not “old,” rather he was in his 40’s and his hair was just turning grey. We all introduced ourselves and he asked if Brody and I were going to serve. We said yes, and proceeded to help him carry his things into the church. One of the things he handed us was a pillow that he told us to sit behind the Altar. Confused, my brother asked what it was for, Father replied: “Incase I get sleepy and want to take a nap during Mass.” (I later learned that Father used pillows as bookrests for the missal on the Altar.)

That day was the start of a great friendship between my family and Father Cash, one that has had a huge impact on my life. Father would come over with Aaron our organist at church to eat Easter dinner with us or come to our Mardi Gras birthday party for our grandma. He was a great role model and one whom I looked up to immensely. He taught my brother and I how to serve with the help of another dear friend: Jim Butler. Our Liturgies at the tri-parishes (of which St. William’s was a member) were always beautiful and steeped in tradition. We used incense, and torches for the procession and Consecration, we wore Cassock and Surplice, and we learned the proper ways to ring bells and polish the metal in the church.

Life was good. Then one day Fr. Cash announced that he was being moved. I remember going home and my whole family seemed sad. We knew that we would still keep in touch with Father, but we were definitely going to miss him. One of his last Sunday’s after Mass the five of us young boys who always served Mass, reverenced the cross, gave Father hand shakes for a job well done and then listened to him tell us some advice. It was in this moment that I learned so much respect for the priesthood and how to be humble. Father said something along the lines of: “Promise me that when you all get your new pastor, you will treat him with the same love and respect that you do me. He might not do everything that I do at Mass, and he may celebrate Mass differently, but instead of arguing or being angry I want you all to always remember to say “Yes Father” and do it. Every priest is different and that is good, he will bring new things that will help St. William’s to grow and you all will get to witness it, so keep serving, stay close to Christ, and thank you for always serving! You guys are the best!” These words have stuck with me and I have always remembered that even if I don’t agree with a priest he is still a priest and deserves my respect. Whenever I was asked to do something at Mass or to help the parish I would always say; “yes Father” and give glory to God.

During a Confirmation class at my Parish one day in 5th grade I had a talk with Fr. Cash about my plans in life, he said that after knowing me for awhile he thought that I might have some qualities that would be good in a Priest and encouraged me to ask God what he wanted me to do with my life. From that moment I began to have that question in the back of my mind saying: What would your life be like if you became a Priest? Throughout the years since I have always tried to ask God what he wanted me to do with my life whether it be with a secular job as a husband and father or as a Priest.

My family continued to attend St. William’s in Marion during this time until my 8th grade year, when we changed parishes to go to St. Ann which was located 45 minutes away. People always seem shocked with how far we drive to church each Sunday, driving 45 minutes, vs 5 minutes down the road, but moving to St. Ann was one of the best things we did for the spiritual health of my family and for my own vocation. (Note: When I’m home over break, I still go to St. William’s for Thursday Mass and still keep in contact with those there, as they are where I first felt called to the priesthood.)

Our pastor at St. Ann was Fr. Gerald Baker. Fr. Baker and Fr. Cash both have a love for beautiful Liturgy, something that I have inherited from them. A major part of my vocation story is from serving at the Altar and getting to interact with so many holy priests within the Liturgy. St. Ann not only had beautiful Liturgy, but they also had Perpetual Adoration. If you remember my family has a love for adoration, which started back in Nebraska when my Mom would bring us, continued to our weekly Holy Hour on Saturdays at St. William’s and continues to making time for it today at St. Ann.

I started serving at St. Ann with my brother and got to know Fr. Baker and the then associate, Fr. James Walling CPM. Fr. James and Fr. Baker loved Christ and preached his love from the pulpit each day. They increased our faith in the real presence, preached God’s mercy in confession and truly helped us to blossom and grow. My sophomore year in High School, Fr. Cash was named as our associate at St. Ann, so my family got to have both of our favorite priests under one roof.

Throughout High School, I was blessed to have several great teachers, who even though they were protestant they encouraged me in discerning seminary and the priesthood. My Ag Advisor, Larry Duvall always taught us his students what it meant to be a man of virtue, to give to others freely, and always help those in need. It was through my time in the FFA, that I gained so many valuable leadership skills and experience in leading others. Our Systems Engineer for the district Technology office, Don Winters became a close friend as I worked with him in STLP and running the school help desk in the mornings. His own ministry as a youth minister inspired me to seek to do more. Carol West, our librarian was always there ready to talk to us and encourage us to follow God’s calling. And lastly, all of my English

My new niece Winnie!

My new niece Winnie!

teachers, Mrs. Gavin, Quertermous, McCord, and Lacy always inspired me, as they read my English writings, several of which discussed what I was thinking of doing. Mrs. Quertermous even proof-read my application for seminary for me! I was blessed to go to a fantastic high school, which even though it was public, still retained it’s Christian roots and morals. The staff was always so supportive of each student in achieving our dreams.

Fr. Cash was moved my Senior year, but prior to that he helped me set up an appointment with Dr. Litke, the new Associate Director of Vocations for the Diocese and he had helped me in Spiritual Direction as well. I applied for Seminary the Fall of my senior year and was accepted right after graduation. I always joked about how it took almost 5 months to get my results back from my psychological evaluation. I would walk in the sacristy to serve Sunday Mass and Fr. Baker would alway say: “Well, Mr. Bruns have you found out if you’re crazy yet?” To which I would respond: ‘Well, I already know that!”

Pictures of myself and Fr. Cash and Fr. Baker, as well as my brother Brody.

Pictures of myself and Fr. Cash and Fr. Baker, as well as my brother Brody.

I graduated from high school as Senior Class President and the Vice President for the FFA, STLP, and Beta Club. Life was good. I drove up to seminary in August of 2012 and the rest is recorded on random posts throughout this blog. My vocation story is still developing. I am still discovering what direction Christ is calling me toward. I feel that I am called to be a priest, and that I am in the right spot for now in my life. I am engaging in spiritual and human formation and striving to become the man God created me to be. Whatever direction Christ takes me in my life, I know that he is always there watching, guiding, and guarding. I have had so many people who have walked alongside me in life thus far, and I know that there will be many more. God has blessed me abundantly and continues to do so each day, as he constantly converts my heart and calls me to himself. This is only fraction of my Vocation Story, there is a lot more to it, as well as a lot more people who have played a part. If I were to go in to everything, it would probably take triple the length of this post. So I will spare you the length!!

When was the last time that you thought about your vocation? When was the last time that you invited a young man to consider a vocation to the priesthood? When was the last time that you said yes to God’s will in your life and followed his lead? I encourage you to go, invite that

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young man at your parish to think of seminary! Pray for Vocations! Inspire Vocations by your own life and ministry! The Harvest is abundant but the laborers are few!

Pray, encourage, and invite others to think  about their vocations. Pray for them and please, please in your kindness pray for me!

 

 

 

The above piece, is one of my favorite musical pieces. Enjoy!

You mean you’ll never get married?

the-cardinal-from-warner-brosNote: This post was originally written on Feb. 14th.)

I’m sitting here in a comfy armchair, watching a movie on tv, drinking a delicious cup of Earl Grey tea and relaxing with friends. Anything wrong or strange with that? No, it sounds normal. Now here’s some more information. I am sitting a room, surrounded by 30 something pictures/statues of different popes, watching The Cardinal, surrounded by 5 other men, all my age. Sound a little strange yet? Yeah, maybe a little. Today is also Valentine’s day, it’s a Friday night and oh I almost forgot, I’m a seminarian at seminary.

Most everyone else my age are out on date’s, including married couples and they say that “love is in the air.” I’m writing this post, not wishing that I was on a date, nor upset that others are, but because of a line from The Cardinal, that struct me. In the movie a man asks the cardinal: “Can you imagine a life without making love?” I’m going to take that another way and say: “Can you imagine a life without getting married?”  (Remember, sex is reserved for marriage, not beforehand.)

That question, is something that I have heard quite frequently, growing up, though in different ways. People would say things like: “You want, to be a priest? Doesn’t that mean that you’ll never get married?” “You mean, you can’t even have a girlfriend?” “You can’t have sex?” “You’ll never have a family?” “You don’t want to have children?”

“What’s wrong with you?” My answer: “Quite a bit actually, I’m a sinner.” (feel free to laugh)

What is it that would make me, or any other man my age (even women in religious communities) want to forego marriage, not have physical intimacy with another, not have biological children, and go against everything that is seen as “normal” in today’s world?

Others.

Marriage is a sacred covenant a Sacrament between God, a man, and a woman. The two give themselves to one another in one of the highest levels of self-gift, literally becoming one flesh. The fruit of their love is children, a continuation of themselves. Marriage is good. Sex is good. Children are good. Married couples give themselves to one another, they cease to live just for themselves and the live for the other, live for protecting, caring, and providing for themselves and their children, etc. Marriage leads you to love another, but it keeps it in a select few. (family members, friends, etc.)

Back to the main question though, why would I or anyone give-up all of that? I answered that it is for others. I also stated above, that marriage leads you to love another. But what about celibacy?

Dictionary.com refers to Celibacy as: “a person who abstains from sexual relations, and a person who remains unmarried, particularly for religious reasons.”

Recently at Bishop Bruté, we were graced to have Brother John Mark Falkenhain, a Benedictine Monk from St. Meinrad come and give us a Day of Recollection on Celibacy. He started out by asking two questions to begin with:

  1. Why did you decide to become a priest? (yes, we are still discerning)
  2. What made you choose celibacy?

I have blogged before on why I want to become a priest, (actually no I haven’t, I realized that it is still a draft. I shall publish that sometime soon.) But why did I choose celibacy? That was an important question that I have been asking myself since joining seminary, and will continue asking until I make my Deacon Promises and am ordained, God willing.

What should the answer look like? I’ll get there. But first, let’s go back to my original question, of why on earth would anyone want to become a celibate? Others.

Being a single celibate, can have good financial and theological reasonings in the church. For instance: If a priest had a family with a wife and kids the financial stress that would put on the parish, people, and the priest would be immense. (Yes, it can be done, and it is with priests that are ordained from other faiths who converted. Even they speak though of the need for celibacy.) A priest would not be able to give his family the amount of time and attention that they require, as well as his parishioners. There is also the theological reasonings: namely, Christ was a single male, priests stand in persona Christi capitis (In the person of Christ, the head), thus being married, would not enable them to be an alter christus (another Christ). They could not represent him in the same way, which they do.

There has to be more though, no? It isn’t just theological or financial reasoning, as to why I would want to choose celibacy, there is something else that exists. Others.

Celibacy as Bro. John Mark pointed out, has to result in an increased capacity for love. How does it lead to love? A celibate is able to give completely of himself to others. (Hey, I keep saying that!) Being free from family, a celibate is able to give himself completely to the people of God. Okay, so that does sound a little cliché, let’s see if we can expound upon it a little.

Celibacy frees a man to give himself, body, and soul to the work of the salvation of souls. Brother John Mark started off his presentation by telling us that: “celibacy is like a box, yes it is confining, but that’s part of it.” When we gain self-knowledge, on who we are, how we define ourselves, we are then able to accept ourselves, for who we are and be comfortable with it. Only when we have a healthy balance of self-knowledge and self-acception can we hope to be able to give of ourselves in a meaningful way to others.

Celibacy calls us to love others and God more! We are called to give our desires and feelings to God and in service to others, thus taking the energy, time, etc. that we would give a spouse and turning it around, offering it to God and using it to minister to his people.

That’s not to say that celibacy is not difficult. Yes, there will be times when I feel alone. There will be times when I ask myself why I did all of this, but the end is worth it. We move through it. We focus on God and the outcome, have time for spiritual reflection, learn more about ourselves and recommit ourselves to the task of salvation.

As men of ministry we are called to give ourselves away to others, regardless of whether we like them or not. In a sense, we are called to show them hospitality and be Christ to them.

Being a celibate has its fun moments. See my blogpost here about 27 celibates singing happy birthday to a woman at a restaurant. Celibacy is not a price to pay for something else, it is a gift from God. And we recognize that that gift is something special. When I take a vow of celibacy I will not have everything that I need to live the life of a celibate. I won’t know absolutely positively for sure if it’s for me. But I will be very, very, close to being sure. As long as I am living a spiritual holy life, doing everything that I can to follow God’s will and rule in my life, I ask God to supply the rest.

And supply it he does! As a celibate, I am called to turn my loneliness into solitude. To reap the spiritual benefits, and give of myself completely without reserve to the people of God. I am called to a life of love. Not a life of spousal, intimate love; rather a life of self-knowledge, acceptance, and gift.

Sitting here in my comfy arm chair, watching a movie with my brothers is not lonely, it is not saddening, it does not cause me any turmoil. The only thing that brings me pain, is that myUnilever-on-tea-Available-evidence-supports-tea-and-tea-ingredients-for-mood-and-performance-benefits_strict_xxl tea cup is almost empty! Instead, it does the opposite, it leaves me at peace, happy, and full of life, love, and joy.

Part of the Rite of Ordination calls for the Bishop to state to the man: “May God who has begun this good work in you, bring it to fulfillment.” I pray that God will continue to draw me closer to his bosom. That he will nourish me with his body and blood, keep me close to the sacrament of confession, and send me his saving love and help. I know that by coming to seminary I am taking a risk. I am surrendering everything to the will of God, asking only that he help me become the man he is calling me to be. Right now, that is as a single, celibate seminarian, discerning a vocation to the priesthood. I pray that one day, God may draw this work to fulfillment, that I may be filled with grace, peace, and love, as I say yes to him and vow my life to a life of a celibate; loving, giving, service to his church and the people of God. May God who has begun this good work in myself and my brothers, bring it to fulfillment.

“The harvest is abundant, but the labors are few…”

Deacon Immanuel, Bishop Medley, and Deacon Will, after the diaconate ordinations, last may.

Deacon Immanuel, Bishop Medley, and Deacon Will, after the diaconate ordinations, last may.